eeeeeesh-Harmony: I didn’t make a commercial.

I received an email today regarding a certain membership that expires in a week or so. I am not too sad to see this one go. I’m actually about ready for it to end. It being my eHarmony membership. Before I go any further I must place a disclaimer.

All names used in ANY eHarmony entries are purely fictional. The events are real. The emotions, fortunately and unfortunately, are real. Also, I am very much aware, of the overall success of eHarmony and wish congratulations and abundant blessings to all of those fortunate souls who met their other fortunate soul. I just didn’t get to be a part of that successful statistic. I did however learn A LOT and am grateful for the experience. If any of the young men I met through eHarmony happen to read this at any point, I hope you find it entertaining. Any misinformation or misunderstandings are my fault entirely. That said…

  • VACUUM (and Febreze) your DOG-HAIR-INFESTED car out before you take me on a date. Don’t offer me a towel to sit on. Also, when you meet me for the very first time, don’t let the first words out of your mouth be, “Oh, I was hoping you wouldn’t wear black.” And when I look at you dumbfounded, don’t just point at your beloved four-legged creature.
  • Don’t throw a temper tantrum and pout in the corner when your seats on the Club Level at the Pepsi Center are taken by young children – all because you didn’t get tickets until we got to the arena and we’d already missed the 1st period. Thank you scalpers – they were amazing seats. James – I’m glad that the hot dog made you feel better about the situation and diminished the lower-lip jutting out.
  • It helps when a guy says he’ll talk to me soon, after a few lengthy (3-4 hours) conversations, if that “soon” is within the next 30 days or so.
  • Just a heads-up to any male that’s reading this that moves (as opposed to anything male that doesn’t…well, you know certain kinds of coral…Movie anyone?), after one date there isn’t really a need to go into the entire setting-boundaries conversation (unless of course, boundaries have already been crossed). But if things are going smoothly and no hiccups and everyone seems happy and you bring the girl her favorite kind of chapstick, Burt’s Bees Pomegranate, on her first date because it’s listed in her eHarmony profile and you suggest her favorite restaurant, Salsa Brava, for dinner (when you didn’t have any idea what it was) – hold off. It tends to mess things around a bit. Also, don’t have this setting-boundaries convo via TEXT MESSAGE. Brad – thank you for your thoughtfulness, the Texan in me is very appreciative of your gentleman-like qualities.

Moving on…sort of…

  • I’m tall. This is fact. Don’t lie about your height. You are the one who looks like the……when you do, not me. Why would I lie about being 6’1″ tall?!???? I wear flats on all first dates just to be safe. But please.

Why has it not worked for me? I’m not sure. The questionnaire alone takes a couple of hours to complete and it asked me questions that I’d never thought of before. It is very thorough and certainly opened my eyes to qualities and characteristics that are non-negotiables for sure, as well as characteristics that I bring to the table as well – mostly good (or at least I hope so). No comment.

The eHarmony Way worked for several people I know and I’m very, very happy for them.  I’ve given it a good try. I guess there was just something missing in each of the matches I communicated with. It sounds so cliché, but it’s very, very true. 

I learned a lot about myself and dating and relationships during my time with eHarmony. I’ve realized I can “close a match” pretty quickly. I’m not quite sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I’m still self-diagnosing. I was also encouraged by the fact that there are nice guys out there who love the Lord and want to pursue and take care of the women in their lives – I just wasn’t the right fit for them…I promise.

All-in-all, what I thought was going to be a way of quite possibly meeting that guy out there who “has my back”, and doesn’t mind that I have a deep love in my heart for the state of Texas, and that I eat cereal for all three meals if need be, became another moment of me becoming “youier” and for that I am grateful.


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ali
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 07:13:03

    Movie quote = Runaway Bride. I may or may not have watched it 3 times this week. Another equally funny scene… Loook. Looooook. I think this man is heart-broken.

    And another great post.


  2. Katie
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 08:07:21

    “Youier”…I like that. Cheers to becoming “youier” and hooray for the good stories it provided. I would have thrown up on the dog hair guy…that’s just nasty – and I have 3 animals, so that’s saying something.


  3. Joshua O'Dell
    Mar 14, 2010 @ 09:25:59

    You’re neat. Love the blog.


  4. Meagan
    Mar 14, 2010 @ 21:04:32

    sooo. I was thoroughly entertained by this entire blog. thank goodness i subscribed! 🙂


  5. Amye
    Apr 14, 2010 @ 12:15:19

    hahahahahaha. I love this. I was laughing out loud in my very quiet office building. It makes me proud. I can’t figure out how to follow your blog or I would. Also, FOLLOW ME:


  6. Emily
    Apr 27, 2010 @ 13:01:13

    i know it’s joan cusack saying it, but i can’t think of the movie!

    man, jourdan, sounds like you definitely made some interesting memories! i think you should chalk it up to an experience & gladfully move forward into what is next – i personally think it’s so much easier to know whether you like someone if you just meet them in person 🙂


  7. jennym
    Jul 13, 2010 @ 12:42:13

    i laughed so hard at so many parts and i hate that because i have to take a break from reading when i’m laughing and all i want to do is keepreadingkeepreadingkeepreading!


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