Downton Abbey, Loneliness, Mumford and Sons

Oh hey! Jumpin’ right in.

Football is over. Well, I mean, the Super Bowl is still happening. I’m rooting for the Giants. I may or may not watch the game. The Patriots – aren’t they the default computerized team for Madden 2012? Kidding. Brady’s new bowl cut is awesome. What a great season it was though! (GB2)

I’ve found some new favorite television. Downton Abbey. Women, watch this. You will hate Thomas, love Mr. Bates, and want to wear the clothing. I promise. Men, be Mr. Bates or William or Matthew, not Thomas. Ok, onward and upward.

I’ve always thought loneliness was Tom Hanks’ character, Chuck, in Cast Away when “Wilson” floats away among the waves in the vast ocean. Chuck’s left scraggly and skinny and weathered. I remember choking back tears watching that scene and thinking how awful a feeling that would be to lose your one-and-only companion, a volleyball of all things. How alone he felt.

I’ve also always thought that loneliness was cured by surrounding myself with lots of people that I love. We talk about all sorts of things. We take part in all sorts of activities and adventures. We really, truly know each other. I have the tendency to fill my social calendar so that I feel the opposite of loneliness. I think acts of service and ministry opportunities add so much to my life, but I still walk away lonely.

I’ve also always thought that loneliness would be cured by the lifelong companion God has in store for me. I dream about who my match is. I wish that I could catch a glimpse of his face, just a glimpse, just so I know he exists. For years I’ve had my expectations. My friends know my type, or at least who I’m usually drawn to. But for some reason, “my type” isn’t working. I keep running into the same wall (need to come up with a name for it) over and over and over and over again. It’s actually beginning to hurt (and I bruise easily).

You see, I have what’s called a “Savior Complex”. I think I can fix anybody. And for some reason, guys sense that and think I can fix their acknowledged and/or unacknowledged mental and emotional instability, and so they wrangle me in. Or because of their mental/emotional instability, I’m an easy catch. Then my loneliness makes an appearance and I’m stuck with a temporary solution. That’s usually the pattern. At least it’s what I’ve observed and written in my paisley journal.

But really, none of this fills the void of loneliness. My married friends experience loneliness, my busy friends experience loneliness, my introverted friends experience loneliness, my younger friends experience loneliness, my older friends experience loneliness. It’s a part of life, but how I handle the loneliness is guaranteed to make or break me.

I hope that as you struggle through loneliness and face it head-on, you know you aren’t alone. I hope you talk to people about it. The worst thing is to deal with loneliness alone. Let me know how I can pray for you and be here for you. One of my favorite Mumford and Sons songs is “Timsel”. The line “you are not alone in this” keeps resonating through my mind.

Mumford and Sons – Timsel

Thank you for listening! I have to go, Downton Abbey is on. Love to you all.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rebecca Geerlings
    Jan 30, 2012 @ 20:20:16

    LOVE this post! So true! Thank you for all the richness you bring into my life friend!


  2. Christen
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 14:58:43

    Started crying while I read this…this would normally be touching but I’m sitting in a waiting room and had to leave. I couldn’t go back…have to catch them next time! Love you friend!


  3. Jules
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 11:24:41

    Loneliness vs solitude… it’s a strange balance. I have not yet figured it out! It’s how we can feel lonely even when we are with many people we love – or feel full of life/love/hope even when sitting at home alone. I don’t get it either. Knowing you are loved by many and knowing you are loved by an amazing, great God is I think for both of us what helps keep us from letting the lonely times get out of control. But that does not mean we will not still have them. Have friends/family/faith does not exempt any of us from feeling this way. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, too my friend. Thankful for wonderful people like you who remind me the loneliness is only temporary! Love you!


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